Presenting... The Omni-Pie!

Hey all - I am completely checked out mentally from everything at the moment, especially school. But I do want my English points, and why not give you guys something to read!

Below is the script for a Commercial project we had for English a few weeks ago - amazing stuff. I will see what I can do about getting the commercial up on youtube and link it to this blog soon! But until then...

PRESENTING The Omni-Pie (yeah, we just put it there to sound cool)

What it does

-          Homework

-          Gets us to class

-          Pays off loans

-          Feeds you!

Cost

-          Six installments of $15.99 +S&H +Tax +Royalties +Annual Fees for Network access

-          Call now and get a second for 20% off!

-          Requires an active data connection with AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, or Sprint. (An extra fee of $20 per month)

Description: This pie is not intended for children under 13 years old, or women who are pregnant or intending to become pregnant. Contents of this pie cannot be disclosed due to international regulations for fear of lawsuit by the CDC for missing rare and dangerous viruses. These comments have not been approved by the FDA, the USA, the UK, the CIA, the FBI, the UAE, ICPO, KGB,  and other international organizations and terrorist groups.

Side effects

-          Itchy Skin

-          Dry Mouth

-          Nose Bleeds

-          Blood Clots

-          High Cholesterol

-          Schizophrenia

-          Empty Bank Accounts

-          Sticky Toes

-          Trouble Sleeping

-          Itchy Eyes

-          Allergies

-          Sneezing

-          Blood loss

-          Vomiting

-          Missing Organs

-          Dry skin

-          Blurry vision

-          Laziness

-          Diarrhea

-          Internal Bleeding

-          Incineration

-          Diabetes

-          Stage 4 Cancer

-          Strange Attraction to Lightning

-          Hives

-          Strange Romantic Attractions to the Pie itself

-          An erection that lasts for more than four hours

-          Erectile Dysfunction

-          World War III

-          Radiation

-          Alcohol Poisoning

-          Mercury Blood Contaminations

-          AND Rigged Elections

Call now to secure your Omni-Pie today! Call a minute ago and get your second Pie free!

(Audio Voiceover) I’m Barrack Obama and I approve this message.